Camp/Talent Night Skits
Required:
4 or more scouts
Script:
2 scouts are camping out, but only have a one-man tent. They argue about who should sleep inside and finally one winds up laying down 'inside' and the other 'outside'. They fall asleep.
A group (2 or 3 scouts) of bears, thugs, or trolls wander by and see the sleeping scout. They rush up and beat on him for a couple seconds and then run off stage.
The scout gets up, hobbles to his buddy, explains he was just attacked, and pleads to change places. The other scout won't switch and tells him to go back to sleep.
Once settled down, the bears come back and beat on him again. Again, he pleads with buddy to trade. This time, he agrees to switch places. (Can repeat once more if its going well.)
After they settle down, the bears come back again. Just as they are going to start beating on the scout outside, one stops and says 'Hey, we've beat this guy up enough - let's get the guy in the tent!!'.
Required:
3 scouts - one big enough to carry another
Notes:
the biggest scout is the horse so he can give the smaller scout a ride.
Script:
(scout #1 is walking his horse across the stage. scout #2 is going the other way and sees them.)
Scout #2: Wow! (scout and horse stop.) Sir, that horse is beautiful! It's lines are perfect. It looks wonderful! I would like to buy it from you!
Scout #1: Why you wanna buy my horse? She no looka so good.
Scout #2: Ha! That is the best looking horse I've ever seen! I'll give you $500 for it!
Scout #1: But, meester, my horse no looka so good.
Scout #2: You are a shrewd bargainer, sir. I will give you $1000 for that horse - right here, right now!
Scout #1: Hokay.
(scout #2 gives the money, gets on the horse, and rides off while scout #1 counts his money.)
(the horse runs into a tree, chair, podium, whatever and the rider falls off. He then walks the horse back to scout #1)
Scout #2: Hey, wait a minute! You sold me a blind horse!
Scout #2: Yes, sir. Like I told you - My horse no looka so good!
DOCTOR SKIT
Required:
2 scouts
chairs lined up to be a hospital bed or a tabletop.
Script:
(doctor enters hospital room where man is laying on hospital bed, sleeping. doctor walks over close to man and looks at him and starts readying his imaginary status chart.)
doctor: Hmmm, let's see. Mr. Smith. Hmmm, recovering nicely. Good progress!
(man wakes up and starts grabbing his throat like he can't breath.)
doctor: What is it? Do you need something to drink?
(man shakes head No)
doctor: Do you need medicine?
(man shakes head No frantically)
doctor: Are you having a heart attack?
(man shakes head No. He acts like he is scribbling on a piece of paper.)
doctor: You want a pencil and paper?
(man nods head Yes)
(doctor hands him paper and pencil. Man writes note with his last bit of strength and then falls back dead.)
doctor: (reading note) You are standing on my oxygen hose!
(doctor looks down at his shoes and takes a step back, then guiltily scurries offstage)
Script:
Scout 1 stands behind box or chair or table being used as the store counter.
Customer: (walks in and faces store owner) Got any duck food?
Owner: No, this is a hardware store. We don't sell duck food.
(customer leaves and comes back the next day)
Customer: Got any duck food?
Owner: No! This is a haaaaardwaaaaaaaare store. We....do....not....sell....duck....food.
(customer leaves and comes back the next day)
Customer: Got any duck food?
Owner: No! No! No! And, if you ask me again, I'm gonna nail your feet to the floor!
(customer leaves and comes back the next day)
Customer: Got any Nails?
Owner: No.
Customer: Got any Duck Food?
This Skit is meant for Boy Scouts.
Decide for yourself if it is appropriate for your younger scouts or not.
Required:
1 tree or wall
3 scouts
Script:
Two guys are working hard, shoveling dirt.
A third guy (the boss) walks over and stands around, looks at the work they've done, reads a paper.
Scout #1: Hey, Joe. How come we have to do all the hard work and the boss there gets paid more than we do?
Scout #2: I don't know. Maybe you should ask him.
Scout #1: Good idea.
#1 lays down his shovel and walks up to Boss.
Scout #1: Hey, boss, how come we do all the work and you get all the pay?
Boss: Because of 'Intelligence'.
Scout #1: Huh?
Boss: Here, let me demonstrate.
Boss places his palm flat against a tree.
Boss: OK, hit my hand as hard as you can.
Scout #1: OK.
As #1 hits the hand, the boss pulls his hand away so #1 slugs the tree and hurts his own fist.
Boss: You see, that's Intelligence. Now, get back to work.
#1 returns to shoveling.
Scout #2: So, what did he say?
Scout #1: He said it's cause of Intelligence.
Scout #2: Huh?
Scout #1: Here, let me demonstrate.
#1 holds the palm of his hand in front of his own face.
Scout #1: OK, hit my hand as hard as you can.
Required:
4 scouts
a frying pan
Script:
Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the main event.
In this corner, weighing in at 225 pounds, undefeated in 138 fights, current world heavyweight champeeeeeen, Big Bart!
And, in this corner, weighing in at 68 pounds, before drying after a shower, the contender, Little Mo!
Announcer: Boxers ready? Fight!
(Big Bart pounds on Little Mo. A right, a left, an uppercut, a roundhouse, remember which punches are used. Finally, with Little Mo nearly dead, he takes one feeble swing and Big Bart's nose and Big Bart falls down - knocked out.)
Announcer: (stands over Big Bart) 1, 2, 3, he's out! Little Mo wins! Let's see that spectacular upset again in slow motion.
Big Bart gets up and the boxers repeat the scene slowly. When Little Mo takes his slow, weak swing, another scout runs up behind Big Bart (in normal speed) and whacks him on the head with the frying pan and runs offstage
Required:
2 scouts
Script:
(one scout is sitting on the bank of a stream or lake, fishing the day away. The game warden walks up.)
Warden: Hey, there! Didn't you see this NO FISHING sign? (points to pretend sign)
Fisherman: Why, yes sir, mister warden sir, I did. And, I am not fishing.
Warden: What?!? You have a fishing pole with a worm on the end of the line. You ARE fishing!
Fisherman: Oh, no sir! I'm teaching my pet worm to swim!
Warden: OK, then. What about this bucket of fish here. There's 3 nice ones swimming around in it. You must have caught them! I'm putting you under arrest!
Fisherman: Oh, no sir! Those are my pet fish. I've trained them to come when I call them.
Warden: No way! Fish aren't smart enough to do that.
Fisherman: Here, I'll prove it if you want me to.
Warden: OK, prove it.
(fisherman picks up bucket and talks to fish.)
Fisherman: Hey, Bubbles. Good fishy, Puddles. Awww, that's a good boy, Flipper. Now, I need you to show the nice officer how well trained you are. When I whistle, you all come back now, you hear? Good fish! OK, here we go...
(pretends to toss the fish out of the bucket into the lake and sets down on the bucket.)
(after a pause of 10 seconds, the Warden gets suspicious.)
Warden: Well, go ahead and whistle for your fish.
Fisherman: What fish?
Required:
3 scouts
Notes:
1 scout is the doctor and he off to the side of the stage.
Script:
2 scouts are hiking and sit down to take a rest.
Scout #1: Sure is hot out.
Scout #2: Sure is.
Scout #1: OUCH! Darn, I just got bit on the rump by a rattlesnake!
Scout #2: Hang on, I'll call the doctor on my cellphone and find out what to do.
(dials doctor)
Doctor: Hello?
Scout #2: Doc! My friend just got bit by a rattlesnake. What should I do?
Doctor: First thing to do is suck the poison out!
Scout #1: Uh huh. (pauses, then hangs up.) Sorry [Bob], the doc says you're gonna die.
(Salesian Leaders know this one as Pebbles or David Jones)
Required:
5 or more scouts
Preparation:
people are indians coming to Brave School
1 person is leader
smallest person is Little Stones
Script:
Indian Brave is waiting center stage for little indians to arrive for Brave School. First indian arrives.
Brave: What is your name, little indian?
Scout #1: My name is Running Duck.
Brave: Running Duck, why are you late for first day of Brave School? You will never be big brave like me if you are always late.
Scout #1: Sorry, Big Brave. I was throwing little stones in the raging river.
(next scout runs in.)
Brave: What is your name, little indian?
Scout #2: My name is Slender Trees.
Brave: Slender Trees, why are you late for first day of Brave School? You will never be big brave like me if you are always late.
Scout #2: Sorry, Big Brave. I was throwing little stones at the birds in the trees.
(next scout runs in.)
Brave: What is your name, little indian?
Scout #3: My name is Tiny Bear.
Brave: Tiny Bear, why are you late for first day of Brave School? You will never be big brave like me if you are always late.
Scout #3: Sorry, Big Brave. I was throwing little stones off the tall cliff.
(repeat for all scouts, each making up a name and where they were throwing little stones...)
(last scout comes stumbling in battered and bruised and in pain.)
Brave: Why are you late, little indian? What is your name?
Last One: My name is Little Stones.
Script:
Scout is struggling across the stage, in desperate need of water.
Scout #1: Water! I need water!
(struggles along to first person)
Scout #2: Here, sir. Would you like to buy a tie?
Scout #1: A tie? No! It's 110 degrees and the sand is blistering my feet. I want water, not a tie!
(struggles further to next person)
Scout #3: I have ties on special sale today only. Would you like one? Real cheap!
Scout #1: I'm dieing here. I need water, not a cheap tie.
(struggles on to next person, add as many people as you want ...)
(finally when approaching last person)
Scout #1: An oasis! Water! And, there's someone guarding it. It must be good, clean water.
Scout #1: Please, give me a glass of water!
Last One: I'm sorry sir, but ties are required to enter this oasis. Good Day.
Required:
2 scouts
Script:
Scout #1: Hey, Johnny, you're good with first aid. I need your help.
Scout #2: OK, what's the problem?
Scout #1: When I touch my forehead with my finger, it really hurts. When I push on my jaw, it's also painful. When I press on my stomach, I almost cry. What can it be?
(does each thing as he says them, always pushing with the tip of the same finger)
(Scout #2 looks in his ears, listens to his heart, has him open his mouth, ...)
Scout #2: Man, I don't know. You'd better go see the doctor right away.
Scout #1: OK, I'll be right back.
(Scout #1 runs offstage and returns right back.)
Scout #2: So, what did the doctor say? What's wrong with you?
Scout #1: He says I have a broken finger.
Required:
5 scouts
a pile of socks
Script:
Scout #1: (could be a leader instead) Hey, everybody! Our new socks have arrived! Come and get 'em!
[other scouts run onstage and line up to receive socks.]
Scout #1: OK, Johnny, how many socks do you need?
Scout #2: I need 2 pair.
Scout #1: Just two?
Scout #2: Yes, I wear one pair for a week while the other pair is in the dirty wash.
Scout #1: Yuch! Oh well, here you go.
Scout #3: I need 4 pair.
Scout #1: Why 4 pair?
Scout #3: I put on a fresh pair on Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and Saturday.
Scout #1: Well, that's better than wearing them a whole week. Here you go.
Scout #4: I need 7 pair.
Scout #1: Great. I bet that's a fresh pair every day, right? [gives the socks]
Scout #4: Right!
Scout #1: That's what I like. A clean scout! Here you go.
Scout #5: 12 pair please!
Scout #1: 12!? Man, you must really be clean. Why 12 pair?
Scout #5: Well, there's January, February, March, ...
Required:
at least 4 scouts - Assayer, his partner, 2 or more miners
Script:
The assayer and his partner are in the office, waiting for gold miners to bring in gold from their claims.
Partner: Hey, mind if I go across the street to grab a bite for lunch?
Assayer: Sure, I'll watch the shop.
First miner walks in with a sack.
Assayer: Howdy, what can I do for you?
Miner #1: I think I found some gold on my claim. Here, tell me what this is and what it's worth.
(hands over sack and assayer looks inside)
Assayer: This is just fool's gold.
Miner #1: Dag num it! I've wasted 3 months in them there hills! (storms out, leaving his sack behind.)
As many miners as you have each walk in with a sack and the same general scene unfolds with the assayer getting a pile of sacks.
Finally, his partner comes back from lunch.
Partner: Hey, whatcha got in all them sacks?
Assayer: Ha, I've got all those fools' gold!
Required:
3 scouts
Script:
(Guide is laying down center stage with his ear to the ground as if listening for something.)
(2 hunters walk on stage and look at guide)
Hunter #1: What's with this lazy good for nothing guide? We’re paying him good money to help us hunt and he’s laying down! Where did you get this guy? He’s laying in the middle of the road!
Hunter #2: Relax. My buddy said he was really good. He's probably listening for wild animals.
(Hunters walk over to Guide)
Hunter #2: Well, what is it?
Guide: (without moving)
Two guys in a pink Cadillac. The grill is missing and it has a broken headlight. The paint is scraped on the right fender. The driver is wearing a green coat and a cowboy hat. The other guy is wearing a brown coat and a stocking cap.
Hunter #2: See? I told you he was good!
Hunter #1: Amazing! You mean you can tell all that just from listening to the ground?
Guide: No way! They just ran over me!
Notes:
One scout is offstage. The rest are in a group center stage.
Script:
Leader: We would like to share a survival tip with you all. If no one in your group has a watch, this is one way how you can still tell time.
All scouts run around in a small area until the leader raises his hand and they then immediately freeze. Everyone pauses to listen but nothing happens.
Repeat this a couple times until the scout offstage decides to reply.
Scout Offstage: Hey, you guys, SHUT UP! It's 11:00 o'clock at night!
Script:
A few guys are standing in line waiting for the ticket booth to open so they can buy the first tickets for a new show.
They should ad-lib so the audience knows what they are doing.
After a bit, another scout comes walking up the end of the line and starts walking past the guys to the front of the line.
The guys in line should complain that he can't cut in line, go to the back, and then grab him and push and shove him to the back of the line.
The guy tries to work his way to the front again with the same results.
Then, he throws up his hands and says, "Forget It! They can get someone else to sell tickets today!" and turns around and walks away.